Homosexual Suspect

A blog addressing the trials and tribulations of a real-life (mostly) gay sex addict. Designed to raise awareness of the reality of this disease, the goal is not to glorify or make light of a terrible affliction, but rather to candidly illustrate what it's like from my perspective. For sex addicts, sexual compulsives, romantic obsessives and the friends and family thereof. Title derived from the title of Jenny Garp's bestseller Sexual Suspect in John Irving's classic The World According to Garp.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

What I Thought About "I am a Sex Addict"

Friday night, after Oreo and I went out and about with some of the choicest New York Bloggers, we headed over to the West Village to catch "I am a Sex Addict" which was showing at the IFC Center.

I should preface this story by letting you all know that I technically discovered "I am a Sex Addict" after I stumbled upon the director's (a man named Caveh) blog on the google during a quick search for blogs about sex addiction. I glanced around the blog but didn't really pay too much attention to it, because I was just glancing around. Well, then, of course, Craigslist intervened. Oreo was once again scouring the "Men Seeking Women" ads and found a most peculiar ad. It seems there was this gentleman who was looking for someone to go spend the afternoon with him at a showing of "I am a Sex Addict." Is it just me, or is that, without a doubt, the worst date movie in the history of the world? I mean, really. That would be a bad date in the first place, but to go on a blind date to that movie just seems too funny even for my blog.

I went to the movie for all of the obvious reasons, and Oreo went, because, well we were dressed really cute and she likes to be seen with a handsome man in his best spring Seersucker jacket.

This movie is funny. It's even funny to people who don't like to hear about sex. I think this is because Caveh is not an attractive man. In fact, I think part of the ultimate irony is that this man is a sex addict, but you just can't imagine who would ever want to have sex with him in the first place. In fact, Caveh is actually a sex addict with a prostitute fetish. I would venture to say that "prostitute fetish" is really just code for "If ugly guys are sex addicts, then since they can't get anyone to have sex with the for free willingly, then they either wind up as sexual predators or people with prostitute fetishes."

Caveh and I don't have a lot in common, short of a penis. He's from Connecticut and into film and the indie scene (hell, for like 90% of the movie, he is in this outfit of black pants, a white shirt and this heinous black vest). I'm just not either of those things. But, we definitely have a similar sense of humor about our sex lives. As he progresses deeper and deeper into sexual addiction, he makes light of the situation and talks just as matter-of-factly as yours truly. That was how I was able to recognize that the movie was certainly based on reality-- it definitely struck a cord.

The whole movie focuses around Caveh's three major relationships throughout his adult life and how he struggles the whole time to deal with sexual addiction as the relationships crumble. In the end, he realizes that he might have and addiction, and goes to a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to cry, testify, and presumably go through a 12-step program, all in the last 10 minutes. Then, of course, the movie ends with Caveh in a church getting married to someone.

You might have noticed that I seemed to really enjoy the movie but still hate the ending. That's because it felt like a cop-out. It's so easy to make the process of sexual addiction funny. It's easy to make light of all the ridiculous decisions the brain of a sex addict deems wise and judicious. In the end, it would be great to see a movie that really shows the difficulty of recovering from this addiction. (By the way, I realize that at the moment, my blog is all about focusing on the funny parts of the addiction, but I know that over time, things will bounce in and out of serious. Yeah, I'm mostly a hypocrite, but just bear with me.)

In the meantime, I'll settle for "I am a Sex Addict" just because I know that at least between the creepy AA sponsor on Desperate Housewives and this new film that long over-due recognition of this addiction.

Round Peg update: Nothing new. Things are quiet... too quiet. I did discuss the situation with Annelle (my friend in LA) and we talked about how funny it would be if he took posted the flyers around and pasted my face onto the body of a naked guy. See, I never took naked pictures, ever, so all he has is a face pic and the subject of my post "Get Your Dick Sucked." Really, I see his plan as just basically free publicity. And even bad publicity is still publicity, right?


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