Quick Detour

Today's post will focus on two very odd and traumatic things that have happened to me in the past two days as a direct result of consorting with Craigslist. Don't worry, for those of you who want to hear more about my disgusting/funny/gross/painful sexual history, I'll be getting back to that in due time.

So I was at work the other day when the first incident happened. A new guy was hired in a department right next to mine on my floor. He looked kind of familiar and all, but whatever. Well, at the end of the day yesterday, I was giving out donuts to the whole gang that we had leftover from a meeting and I finally stopped at his desk. I figured I'd introduce myself and all and I might be able to figure out where I thought I knew him from.

"Hey man, I've seen you all over the office and just never stopped to say hello. Hi, I'm Homosexual Suspect," I ventured.

"Yeah man, I know. We've met before," he replied.

"Oh, did we, like, work together or something?" I asked innocently.

"This is the first time we've met in the office," he said with a cocked brow.

"Holy shit," I replied in my head. We met off Craigslist the night before your interview here and now you're working five feet from my desk. And you weren't one of the rare hot men you meet on Craigslist, but rather, a relatively forgetful one. I can't even remember who fucked who. (And you all can attest that I must have a good memory if I can keep track of all the other bad fucks like VOM).

"Oh, right," I finally said aloud. "RIGHT."

"Yeah," said Blast From the Past.

Let the awkward games begin.

Well that encounter ended up paling in comparison to my next incident.

So, the other night I started some basic emailing with a guy off Craigslist. It seemed harmless at first. He lived near me, but was "discrete/discreet" and wouldn't share pictures (really, this is a readily recurring- albeit that it definitely happens less now in this age of digital cameras. For me, I get so delusionally obsessed with getting off while someone else is with me that I end up not really caring if I even come close to seeing what they look like first. Case and point, VOM).

Well it took a few days but last night he emailed, "Hey man, I'm gonna take a walk, I'll be on the corner at 11 if you want to come meet me to see what I look like." Well, Oreo and I were watching some good movies, but I quickly made an excuse and ran out to see the guy. He had described himself as 35, 6'1 in good shape with an 8 inch cock. Well, that doesn't say much since, unfortunately, most guys don't walk around naked, and every guy looks tall and 35 to me. Great. So I walked to the 7-11 and back and didn't see anyone making eye contact with me. I saw a young looking Indian (as in from the country India) but he didn't seem to fit the bill.

Well I got back and emailed the guy to see what was up and then it all went downhill. Turns out it was the guy that didn't fit the bill. We'll call him Round Peg. According to RP, I was walking quickly down the street pretending to talk on my cell phone. Now, this is true, but only because none of my standby bullshit talk friends were available. So, really this could be all their fault. Next, he started emailing me with some crazy shit.

"For being so rude I will get you. I just spoke to a friend in that bldg who says it was cheesy of you to do that and then not respond or apologize. I will print your posting with you [sic] pic and post it all over the bldg."

Now, what the hell is this? Really, what is this? Who does this? So, I had to make a snap decision- get defensive and drive the lunacy in deeper, or just start apologizing and placate the bastard. So, I tried to apologize, reason and even use works like "miscommunication." Well there was no response until...

"I have nothin [sic] more to say. You obviously were not responding because you knew you were out of line. Never ask someone to leave their place and walk over so you could get some thrill out of it and then pretend [sic] . Everybody has their own taste bus [sic] some level of respect prevaills [sic]. That's what fags [sicK] do not decent folks. I am not vengeful but you so boldly pushed buttons and then lie instead of apolozing [sic] . Its [sic] just nice that I am not an evil person. Someone nasty would probably jump you. When folks in the bldg see your post and the pic you will know what the feelin [sic] is like. I will make sure its [sic] there by the weekend. I have nothin [sic] more to say."

So now it got physical. Can you imagine me getting jumped for something like this? WOW. I sent another request for understanding and got nothing again until the final...

"So you never do that to anyone again. If you were honest and sorry you would have responded to the mail. You ignored and then responded after knowing that I was annoyed and would do what I said and then lied about goin [sic] to sleep. So what keeps you up now? My friend in that bldg is so curious to see the post. Since he is married and closeted I cannot e mail it to him to respect his privacy. I dont [sic] feel good about it at all but sincerely annoyed . I will think about this tmrw as he will be comin [sic] over to my place on Sunday since he is goin [sic] out of town. I do not even like the thought of doing it or showing him the mail. I have 2 days to think it over. You may be a nice person but never play such games again. At this point I am not interested. There are plenty of them in this neighborhood and I do not really associate much. I have recd you subsequent mail and I will think about it but do if you do not hear from me either tmrw or sat that means I am not interested in knowing. You could e mail your cell# and I will call if I feel like it.

Have a good nite [sic]."

I'm not sure if he will actually follow through with his threat or not this weekend. After all, nothing says, "He is Risen," quite like having your face and most intimate sexual desires posted all over your new apartment building for all the little kiddies to find on their Easter Egg Hunt (ooh, wait, they're all Jewish. But still, even little Jewish children shouldn't be exposed to that kind of image). I will keep you all posted on what Round Peg decides to do or if I hear from him again. What a mess.

Incidentally, I have only had one other slightly sketchy experience from the internet dating scene and it happened when I was like 17. This one involved an asshole who stole my wallet after we had a failed sexual encounter (read: He couldn't get it up). But more on that later.

To allay any fears any of you have out there: HS got his semi-annual STD/HIV check up and is still negative, clean and free. We'll get to the STDs at some point.

I think I might use a part of this weekend to revamp my blog. I mean, it needs to have a better layout. Additionally, as it would appear I've finally found a good and real purpose for this blog, I think I may need to make a new description for this blog so that it actually reflects my goals and intentions. Stay tuned for more.